The following post is very graphical and sexual (if you are a conservative Lebanese), don’t bother to read it if you get annoyed by such thing. And don’t bother to tell me how sick I am in the comment I already know.
So today I had to do a spermogram at one of our famous hospitals in Beirut.
To those who don’t know what a spermogram is; its a test of sperm quality.
Anyway, I arrived there at around 10 am (the lab only opens in the morning), that sux because I hate to masturbate in the morning when you are barely awake.
I checked in, paid at cashier and waited my number: 76.I entered plenty of people inside in a place that isn’t bigger than my room. People getting blood tests, urine test and what ever. There were 2 bathrooms, like 1mx1.5 , the guy there gave me a cup and pointed me to one of the bathrooms (where the put the cups and where everyone stands is half a meter away from the bathroom door).I entered, there is no place to sit, not even a cover on the toilet so you can able to sit. No lubrication, no porn no nothing.If that wasn’t hard enough, people were outside my door talking, people outside going in and out, medical students (I guess) talking about what this and patient has, a few printers (the annoying ones for receipt…wzzzz) were printing, 2 guys shouting every minute (30 seconds interval) a number for the next patient.
And how on earth I they want me to get an erection eh? 20 mins later. I gave up, you would really give up when ever 2 or 3 mins someone knocks on your door to see if you finished, because there are other people inline (on a horny day it takes me 45 mins).
I went out and was very angry told one of the guys there, he told me okie we will take you somewhere else. Waited like 20 mins then had to remind them again that I am still here.Finally they took me to a bigger bathroom, it was quiet. but still a bathroom. At least there was a chair…
before I closed the door, the guy told me hurry you got 15 mins (For God sakes, let me masturbate in peace, haven’t done it for 5 days because of you and on top of that you pressure me). Had to imagine the weirdest fantasies ( don’t bother to ask :P) so I finally was able to ejaculate in the dam cup, not all of them got in had to scoop some from my abdomen :P.it was barely 1/4 of the amount I usually ejaculate. They should be Glad I could do it.
in a normal country, you get a room with TV, DVD’s (porn duh) and magazines with a comfortable chair. But no 3eib in Lebanon… eh ayree feekon… naza3toleh 5 days of no touching.