May 142012
 

Best question I have received in ages…

 

I really, really wonder why guys are so excited to occassionally slip their dick out of the vagina while fucking and they tap it on the pussy, on the pubic area
Like, tap tap tap
Then slip it back in and resume

 

 

Apr 242012
 

Friend:  Wissam if Lebanon were a perfume, how would it smell like?

me:  a pile of shit with a flower in the middle of it you might get a hint of the flower smell or know it’s there but masked by tons of shit and you hope that someday people will stop putting more shit instead let the flowers use the shit as fertilizer and let it grow

Friend:  sprinkled with coriander 😛

me:  that looks like kafta now

Friend:  You disgusting little asshole you ruined my creative project design hahah

me: lol

Feb 162012
 

I love G+ hangouts, meeting new people daily and having fun.

Something funny happened yesterday though.
G+ has the ability to notify you that your mic is muted and start talking before unmuting it. Which happens a lot than people think.
So yesterday I hidden my cam, and muted my mic to browse for a new laptop. and Suddenly I farted really loud. G+ app immediately asked me to unmute my mic. It cracked me up, I bet the neighbours heard me laughing…

Dec 122011
 

[name changed to protect the innocent]

[Swagger]: http://thisistheverge.tumblr.com/post/14103212970/star-trek-tng-ambient-engine-noise-idling-for-24

[me]: nice !too bad I dont have anything in my bedroom that is connected,I would have put this to sleep

[Swagger]: I am pretending I work on the Enterprise

[me]: lol

[Swagger]: my job just got loads cooler

[me]: hahaha

[Swagger]: I can make it rain in my office with rainymood and I can be in space with this link

[me]: what’s your shirt color?

[Swagger]: blue, no worries

[me]: you’re safe!

Jun 062011
 

Uncle Hank in Black Swan!!!! LOL!
I wonder how many know who he is!
I was like “no way!, is that?…naa” had to look it up in imdb! yep he is!!!!!
Priceless!!!

 Posted by at 9:24 am
Feb 152011
 

so Valentine’s was a saint right? (forget the true origin)
so he was a virgin right?
umm, doesn’t anyone see something wrong with this day?

Dec 262010
 

This woman was my friend like a couple of hours ago (until I got deleted of course)
Lots of talk was in Lebanese will translate between brackets and explanations between parantheses.

12:48 PM
Woman: sawatelli ? 🙂 [did you vote for me?]( She is in a photography competition and she sent a mass email to everyone to vote for her 7 pictures)
12:51 PM
me: yep (I voted for one, “liked” on facebook)
12:53 PM
Woman: sa3youkom mashkour 🙂 [roughly: thanks]

me: hahahahahaa (the reason I laughed , its because this is usually said in a religious context, and I am atheist)

Woman: bass hinni 7 :p [but they are 7 :P]

me: that’s the one I liked
12:55 PM
Woman: hmmm.. (obviously she didn’t like it…how dare I!!!!)

ok bass el judges bye7esbo the number of likes

🙂
[but the judges add the number of likes](basically they add all the likes by all pictures which is really unfair because not everyone submitted the same number of photos)
12:56 PM
me: you want to deserve to win? or you want to win because you have the most friends? (fair? )

I liked this one.

didnt like the others

Woman: easy with the maw3iza..jeez [easy with the preach…jeez]
12:57 PM
me: sorry you pushed it 🙂

Woman: thx anyway

really?

sorry, didnt know your limits hal add tight [sorry, didn’t know your limits are that tight] (notice the mixing between english and lebanese)

me: I give what’s fair.
12:58 PM
not gonna vote for something I didnt like.

Woman: anyway you can unlike what you like, that’s to show you that manni hal add m3al2a

3al sot
[anyway you can unlike what you like , that’s to show you that I am not that caring about the vote ] (that was a rough translation)
me: oh for fuck sakes…

Woman: na3am?
12:59 PM
khalli la nafsak heik haki

anyway , ma3 el salemeh

[yes?(what?) keep those words to yourself, anyway go with safety (sorry I am not a translator, but basically this is a go away ]
me: bye [name]

Woman: have a nicelike

life

pfff

me: wow

shi7adeh wo mashartah [a begger with condition] ( its a lebanese expression that means basically: someone that begs for something but when with conditions or special request) (basically she didn’t like that I only voted for 1 of her pics, but she wanted me to vote for her 7 pics even that I didn’t like the rest)

woman: fashart (dunno how to translate this, but some typical lebanese words that shows dismay so is the rest of the conversation)

bi ra2ebtak

me: bye [name]

Woman: na2esni

me: bye [name]
1:00 PM
Woman: la bye wala man ya7zanoun

me: …

Woman: yeah have the last word

And people wonder why I hate Lebanese…
One less stupid person around me 🙂

 Posted by at 2:14 pm